Bridgey's Baby

There's no argument who's baby this is, Bridge staked his claim from their first meeting. He's always checking up on me, making sure my care is up to par.

He must spend a third of his day tending her himself, giving her kisses, which ar more like semi painful headbonks, cheek to cheek nuzzels, and petting her like the puppy he thinks she is.

It's just heart warming and heart stopping all at the same time. I think we all smile and hold our breath a little. Not wanting to discourage his sweet intentions and at the same time wanting to take the baby and yell "duck and cover".

Finley's Arrival

She's here and just perfect. Little rosey cheeks, 10 toes, and 10 fingers to match. Her fingers are so long, she could palm a golf ball and maybe a plum. And, if this wasn't enough she's got dark hair like her Auntie Nina and a deep dimple on the right cheek of her face like her Auntie Leslie.

I have to say I thought my dreams of little dimpled children were done for when I married into a none dimply family, and yet here we are with a one dimpled wonder.

The Stats:
6.2 lbs
18.5 inches
Blue Eyes
Brown Hair

In the Words of Experienced Mothers Everywhere

2 1/2 weeks and counting till' little Fin's arrival. Aside from, crowded and large, I'm feeling fairly anxious. When I first found out I was pregnant I was brimming with delight and enthusiasm, (labor being a good 7 months off), and now I find myself laying in bed in the wee hours of the morning, mourning that inevitable day. The thought seems to twist my stomach into untieable knots.

I just don't remember being this worried in times past. With Ky I was naive, and with Bridge I spent my time worrying about the recovery/newborn stage. But, with this one, I just plain cower at the thought of the needles, drips, and the 18 hours prior to baby's arrival. What's more is the very positively negative response I get when I ask other mothers about life after #3. The word, "Doomed" seems to surface again and again.

So, there you go, with looming visions of labor and the sound of experienced mothers everywhere chanting "Your Doomed", I cannot seem to get much sleep past 5:30am.

September. . . Schools in!

So, this month is a big month for Ky. She starts ballet this week, and preschool the next, and we'll be busy Mon thru Wed. I'm kind of excited to be busier, it seems like I get more done the more I have to do. We're currently on the hunt for a cheap-O van, because we are almost officially a 5 member family! Steppin' into the big leagues. I'm so excited to have little Rusty. She's much more calm than Ky or Bridge ever were in utero. She doesn't move around all that much and if she does it's quite gentle.

The Count Down Begins. I have exactly 12 weeks left not counting the one I'm in! Which really translates to, I have 12 weeks to finish all my house projects and organize 4 very sad closets, a pantry and a few over stuffed cupboards. I still haven't decorated Rusty's room. The lady at General Paint said it best, "it's just not fitting for a baby to be born into the world without wallpaper."

Ky and Bridgey will have to share once Rusty gets moved into the nursery. Were hoping to put this off until she's about 3 months so Bridgey will be at least 19 months and more familiar with english words such as, "stay in your bed". I'm pretty excited about Ky and Bridgey's room, it's going to be teal and brown. I found darling fabrics for curtains and their beds. Gotta love those Poka-dots.

Learning to "Be Still"

Being able to stay home with my children is a blessing I thank the Lord for daily, usually while I'm rocking one of my precious little ones and reflecting on the beauty of my life. But, then there's that time that comes nearly daily, when I don't really have anything pressing. No deadlines, no one counting on me to accomplish something, and no one waiting in the wings to say, "Good Job" if I do.

And, at these moments, I'm unsure of what I "should" be doing. Because, melancholies like me find a list of "shoulds" comforting, not stifling like the Cholerics of the world. Sometimes Mo is like my Yoda, with her profound words of wisdom that seem to permanently penetrate my heart. One that has really made an impression as of late, was to change all the "shoulds" that plague my life, with "coulds". "I should bath the kids before church, so we don't look like the frazzled family we are" to "I could bath the kids before church," etc. The odd thing is, that while the "shoulds" plague my life, I feel lost without them. It's uncomfortable to have down time, or time without an agenda.

Last night while I was feeling this way, I recalled President Hinckley saying, "take time to Be Still". So, I sat on the couch, something I rarely do, and just watched my little ones giggle, play, and rip at each others hair. And, I'd love to report that it was some amazing moment, but really it was just uncomfortable, like when you have a naggy itch that you can't reach. Being "Still" is challenging, but I can see the benefits, and so, I will keep trying to take time out, breath and just "Be Still".

"Can I marry Bridgey. . ."

I feel bad for not having kept up on this over the summer, because I've missed recording so many darling things Ky says. But, here's a few as of late.

At Home Depot Ky kindly explained to the man of many earrings that, "earrings are for girls, not for boys."

Reading before bed she said, "When I'm Jesus, I will play with the kids too."

In July Ky kept asking for "sparklely pink teeth" for her birthday. It was a mystery to me until Sunday when she said "look mom, that guy has sparkle-ly teeth." Referring to the man with braces sitting within hearing distance of us.

Watching Cinderella, she explained that "she's running to God, because he's really nice mom." (referring to the Fairy Godmother).

"Mom I'm going to marry daddy." Mom- But, I'm married to daddy. "Then can I marry Bridgey?"

This morning she sweetly woke me with a kiss and asked if she could climb up and snuggle with Baby Rusty (who is still in my tummy).

Last night I was just tickled when she kindly reached in the popcorn bag to refill my empty lap. It was such a thoughtful gesture as she had a full lap, and I hadn't said anything about my empty one.

"I Dressed Myself" -the button.

Where do you find a button maker at a time like this? It's not in the yellow pages under Button Making, I know I've looked. I just need a few buttons that say, "I dress myself". And, maybe one that says, "My dad picked out these clothes." Ky's at that age, where I would rather keep my sanity, and my hair, rather than force her to wear anything that matches. Her dad on the other hand just has to sprinkle some daddy charm and, "poof" she obeys. This is where the "My dad picked out these clothes" button comes in.
Last week I was a little behind getting ready for church, so Jess took over dressing the kids. Mistake, I know. I'm the mom who had to hang my head in shame as my 'little orphan' daughter walked around with syrup in her matted hair, and two different shoes. No exaggeration. I'll have to make more time on Sundays. But, there's still the daily fashion dilemma. Remedy: Daddy's charm. Beg, borrow, steal, I just need a little.

Love, a mathematical equation?

Question for any, more than first time moms or mothers of the fruitful genre. Do you love your 2nd child, more than you loved your first at birth? Sounds unfair, I know. When Ky was born I just loved her to pieces, but nothing in comparision to how much I loved her 2 years later. This is when Bridge was born, 2 years after Ky. And while, it would seem fair for him to start at the bottom, like his sister had to, 'life is not fair for Canadians' as Grandpa says.
I loved him as much as I loved her the moment he arrived! So, Jess and I were doing the math, Ky: 0, Bridgey: 2 yrs, Rusty? Does Rusty get to start at 3 years of love because that's how long I've been practicing my motherly love, or do we count, Ky's 3 years plus Bridgey's 2 years, equaling 5 years of love?
Okay so this is really just a silly post to say, I love how my love as a mother grows exponentially with each child. It's truely amazing. I've heard both my mother and my mother in law, say that when they were pregnant with their 2nd they were nervous they wouldn't be able to love the 2nd baby as much as they loved their first. Of course all those who know Jason, Chris and me (my mom's first, 2nd, 3rd) know this is just silly. I'm the 3rd and the "obvious" favorite, well there has been talk of Chris taking claim on this spot, but who can trust hearsay.

Skate or Die

This one's dedicated to Daddy's little ambitious skater. Seeing some kid on a board Ky was quick to explain "he is a boy but, skateboards is for girls and daddy's."

It's a girl.....not a pink and white horse!

So, yesterday we found out we're having a baby girl. I was so excited to tell Kyanne, that I must have left out the "baby" part. Because today she said, "Is Rusty sleeping in your tummy?" Followed by, "when she comes out I will pet her, because she's such a cute pink and white horse!" What? How she got a 'pink and white horse' I don't know, but it was pretty cute.

"I hope it's not in Canadian!" -Gage

Okay, so it's been a long time since I've posted. So, I'll quickly catch up.

We moved into our new home here in McKenzie Towne. Which we've affectionately termed "The Elf Village" or as Kayla says, "The Twilight Zone". It's cute, parks on every corner, ice rink, splash park, sledding hills, church, town hall, and a confusing traffic circle to give us some excitement and near death experiences. All very charming like it belongs in a children's storybook or on an Alfred Hitchcock film. We love our house. It's a four level split, which in so many words, means I can have a clean kitchen and a company-ready livingrm "everyday of my life, it's fantastico", while the children, are children -on the next level.

Aside from this we are all surviving the "I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too" June Flu. Kyanne was generous enough to share with not only our family but, Nicks family, Nana/Poppy, Grandma/pa, and so on. I think the number is up to 15. We taught her to share, and she does it well. We're currently battling week 4 with an end in sight.

Jess went to Raymond with the kiddies June 1st like the patriotic Albertan he is. And, then on to the Bridge family reunion, where he made me a pair of authentically tie dyed socks, for the Hippy in me. Ky and Bridgey got really cute shirts, for the Hippy in them. And, the kids and I stayed home in hopes of overcoming the plague. No such luck.

Kayla, Becky and her darling little 4 children came to visit for the 3 days after the reunion. And, I'm sad to report they also got sick upon departure.
Going away gifts: Tea set for Kenna, the flu for Gage.
All in all it was a riot. A weenie roast, an almost catastrophic fire, a slumber party, swimming/popcorn party, and to make the visit complete... a trip to Ikea.

Some funny quotes:

Becky was putting in a dvd for Gage, with disappointment he said, "Awh, I hope this isn't in Canadian!"

Kenna unsure whether she should interrupt decided: "Adults never stop talking."

Stella: "Mom, that girl is following me...."
Becky: "That girl... is your cousin. Give her a hug good night, and go to sleep!"

Kayla: "You live in Canada!"

Evidence.

"Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most." -Hope Floats

The Toddler. How can I love this age and dread it at the same time. Some days I think this is the fun-est and funniest age so far, and other days I count how many weeks until she turns four. I don't know if four is without floppy banana tantrums, or hysterics at bedtime, but the hope gets me through some days.

There's probably not a week that goes by that I'm not stopped by some nastolgic parent
feeling the need to warn me, "Enjoy them, they grow up so quickly." This makes me think it
must be a struggle for every parent to appreciate every moment, and yet this doesn't quiet
the ache I feel for the moments I have missed. It makes me sad to think of how many times
Ky has turned my head towards her and said, "Talk to me, mom." She only says this when I've
ignored her initial attempts of engaging my attention.

I guess it's just about trying harder to put down the wash rag, let that email reply wait and
enjoy the magic of these sweet little spirits.

Toddler & Trouble...two birds of a feather.

Originally uploaded by stephhhead.

There was a small moment this week when the words, Kyanne and difficult entered my troubled mind. And then the minute passed, my muddled head cleared, and I realized it is really, toddler and trouble that go hand in hand.

I commit this to paper, knowing there will come another mischievous toddler and another stress filled day when I will want to rip my hair out strand by strand to distract me from the my current responsibility as the house zoo keeper. Instead I will remember this day, when my brain and my heart spoke in unison and said, "awe-ha, toddlers are trouble, what did you expect?"

Bridgey 2 weeks old

My-Scrapbook-000-Page-1
Originally uploaded by stephhhead.This has to be one of my favorite layouts. I love every little part of this sweet baby. He was such a darling baby. Just sweet and charming everyday.

Ticky Ticky Tim....

We went up to Waterton for the long May weekend with the fam. It was a blast. We returned Monday night. And, Wensday I found a going home present on my head....a very plump little tick.
Awh....I'd never seen a real one before yesterday, it was just mossing around my head. I felt so violated I couldn't stop shivering all day, I named him Tim in hopes of being less grossed out. I checked the Jess, and the kids head to toe, and didn't find any of Tim's friends. Seems to have been a loner.

It's an Epidemic!

Prego, prego, round it goes....
where it stops nobody knows!

So were guessing that I'm about 11 weeks along, Jason's wife Quincy is about 9ish, my favorite little Shannon is due the day before me and Keshia is now prego too! This is fantastic. It's catching like last winter's flu, sadly it feels like last winter's flu too. Awh, well, the little bun in the oven's worth it.

Last time Quincy and I were pregnant together we were also two weeks apart. She went one week early and I went one week late putting us in labor on the same day. Little Hayden was born a few hours before Kyanne. It is kind of comforting knowing someone else is going through the insanity too. Everyone should have a "Labor Buddy".

Chasing a "FAIR"y Tale.

There seems to be a popular school of thought among parents, to treat your children the same, and "be fair". This is far from my natural inclinations as a parent, and I foolishly spent time worrying about it. Only to realize, my children are different. Which stands to reason, I should show love and parent them differently as well.

Someone mentioned I should be careful not to favor them. But, I naturally do. I can't help but favor both my little sweethearts. How I could possibly be 'equal', in how I love these perfect little creatures! Bridgey, so mild and docile. Kyanne, so explosive and full of color. Both hold my heart in the palm of their bitty hands, but my parenting towards them is as individual as their little Spirits.

It's amazes me that these precious babes come pre-wrapped in their own particular personalities. Ky has been busy, bossy, radiant and thrilled about life, from day one. By contrast, Bridgey, was calm, docile, sweet and contented to go with the flow. Both bringing cherished and vibrant colors to our family portrait. What will this next little baby be like?

Kyanne Potty training "Olivia"

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Originally uploaded by stephhhead.

This month it feels like Kyanne gets funnier and more fun every day! She's in fast forward learning mode and it's thrilling, and sort of exhausting too. Bridgey is just Bridgey, chugging along at his reliable even keel pace. Never too sad, never too excited. Content to go with flow. The two of them couldn't be better friends. There's no question who's the light of Bridgey's life, and Ky returns the love in armfuls. It's so heart warming to watch.

With Open Arms

My-Scrapbook-000-Page-1
Originally uploaded by stephhhead.

So, much color isn't usually my style, but I love this layout never the less. That baby's so cute!

Simple Reflections

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Originally uploaded by stephhhead.

Here again, I tried to use an embelishment. Bad news bears. They're just not me, and I always regret it.

Kyanne: summed up, in four lines.

Kyanne.
Originally uploaded by stephhhead.

This is what happens when you go againest your natural scrap personality... a layout like this. Embelishments just aren't me, nor placing photos cock-eyed. One day I'll go back and re-do this lo. For now I still had to post for the poem.


KYANNE.
INTENSELY HAPPY. INTENSELY SAD. INTENSELY BUSY. INTENSELY MAD. PLAY HARD. LAUGH HARD. CRY HARD, TRY HARD.
KYANNE.

Kayla Sue

kayla-screenshot
Originally uploaded by stephhhead.

And, to think I changed her diapers at one time.

Bridge and Mommy

Bridge and Mommy
Originally uploaded by stephhhead.

This picture says more than I ever could in words.

3 Months of Camping...

Things are settling here in Calgary, we move into our new home in 2 weeks, we know the names of more than the bishop and welcoming committee in the ward, and I am slowly with less and less tantrums, learning my way around the city. I still have yet to establish a routine around this less than organized circus troupe, we call a family. So, I have a high hopes of doing better once were settled in the new house and no longer feel like were permanently camping. All in all it's been so great to be a together again as a family, so no complaints from the peanut factory.

Sleeping Babies and other Magical Moments in Motherhood.

What time of day, could there be more prayers of joy sent heavenward, by grateful mothers, than this? Quiet, serene, melt my heart adorable! What is it about sleeping babies? Kyanne can make me so crazy I become the "Mommy Monster", but the moment those little pink eyelids close, my heart is as ice cream on summer day. There are days I am brought to tears. Joy, relief, love? Who knows. It suffices to say, it is a magical moment in every mothers day.

Good cop, Bad cop.

Bridgey has begun saying "Ma-ma" -which I understand to be his official declaration of his undying love for me. This would make Jess and I, 1:1. Were going into overtime, the 'tie breaker' is on the way.

Okay, truth be told, I know Jess is 'the favorite', he's just more fun, and exciting, and on top of that he's cute. He's like a shiny new toy, and I'm the green broccoli we had for dinner last night.And, so it begins...'Good Cop, Bad Cop'.

"Why do I always have to be the grown-up?"
"Because when we were picking sides, you picked grown-up first. It's the way you really want it." -One Fine Day

A little child shall lead them by the hand....

Today while waiting at the doctors with Kyanne, she made a comment about "her toys at her old house", she was not sadly reminising or demanding she have her old toys, she just was mentioning them. And, I realized, she remembers the things she loves, doesn't know if she'll see them again, and she's still happy. Practically everything that's familiar beside Bridge, Dad, and Mommy are 3 hours away in our "old house" until we take possession of our new house in June. This was just a reminder to me to "be cheerful in all things." Sometimes as adults we get caught up in what is "ours" and what we "deserve". Entitlement seems to plague our very wealthy society, and I'm thankful for Ky's small reminder that all things come by the hand of the Lord and what it means to be "as a little child."

A roller coaster ride, engagment, pregnancy, and other weekly events

Well, life has been a roller coaster as of late. Jess's year and a half long project is finally coming to an end this week, we just sold our 1st home (sad) and are buying a new one here in Calgary. Kyanne is learning how to live without the endearing "yucky corner" of her well loved blanket in her mouth, and Bridgey is still just as perfect and sweet as ever. He's trying to stand on his own and did take a step the other day to impress his grandma. But, he really likes crawling so I'm going to guess walking is a ways off.
So, if all of this wasn't enough excitement this week, we found out were pregnant with #3. Who's name is going to be Rusty. I told my grandma and she said, "Lefty! I love that name!" No, worries were not naming #3 after a pirate or a cowboy singer. Next we got a call from Jilly saying she is getting married to her sweetheart Trevor or Trever...humm...I'll need to learn how to spell his name now. Anyhow, it's been a big week. Lots of changes, heartaches, and joys for all 4 of us. But, we feel happy and peaceful, knowing Heavenly Father loves us and has a plan for all of us, even if it's not what we planned for us.

Confessions of a CIA want to be...

Jess and I had our last night of "Alien" as we've affectionately termed it. Projected on our wall with an annoying little nail smack in the middle, we said our forlorn "good-bye's" to Agents Bristow, Vaughn, Flickmen, Weiss and of course the 'good', bad guys Sloan and Sargk. Depression sets in even as I blog this. We have introduce many friends to Alias, and many have reported side effects of restless sleep, dreams of talking watches, deadly lip balms, an array of covert ops, and/or thoughts of "taking" down innocent bystanders. I, myself have experienced all of these side effects the funniest by far being the time I was getting out of my Cabrio in our Huntington Beach ally behind our house. A suspicious stranger was approaching my car, and my first thoughts were how to "take him out" when I quickly remembered I only became a yellow belt in 4th grade due to my instructors sympathies.
*Here's to our Alias watching buddies: Nick & Keshia/ Brandon & Hetal/ Our Mom's & Dad's Good Times. Good Times.