Being able to stay home with my children is a blessing I thank the Lord for daily, usually while I'm rocking one of my precious little ones and reflecting on the beauty of my life. But, then there's that time that comes nearly daily, when I don't really have anything pressing. No deadlines, no one counting on me to accomplish something, and no one waiting in the wings to say, "Good Job" if I do.
And, at these moments, I'm unsure of what I "should" be doing. Because, melancholies like me find a list of "shoulds" comforting, not stifling like the Cholerics of the world. Sometimes Mo is like my Yoda, with her profound words of wisdom that seem to permanently penetrate my heart. One that has really made an impression as of late, was to change all the "shoulds" that plague my life, with "coulds". "I should bath the kids before church, so we don't look like the frazzled family we are" to "I could bath the kids before church," etc. The odd thing is, that while the "shoulds" plague my life, I feel lost without them. It's uncomfortable to have down time, or time without an agenda.
Last night while I was feeling this way, I recalled President Hinckley saying, "take time to Be Still". So, I sat on the couch, something I rarely do, and just watched my little ones giggle, play, and rip at each others hair. And, I'd love to report that it was some amazing moment, but really it was just uncomfortable, like when you have a naggy itch that you can't reach. Being "Still" is challenging, but I can see the benefits, and so, I will keep trying to take time out, breath and just "Be Still".