If I told you these words:

• Toddler
• Nap Time
• Licorice
• Both Hands
• "Nigh, Night, Honey"

Would you know just how desperate I was today?

"Super Mom", take a hike already!

What to do when Chocolate won't fix it?

Due to Fin I'm short on sleep, the kids have contracted cabin fever along with every other fever floating around calgary, my house looks like a battle zone and my desperate attempts for order are seeming dismal and sad. At my breaking point last week Jess suggested hiring help. It was like the magic of an epidural all over again. A housekeeper, what would that be like? Heaven, mixed with a little bit of guilt, but I'm guessing more Heaven, than guilt.

Really, I know it's silly to feel guilty, or bad about not measuring up to the 'super mom' that nags in the back of my mind. Where did she come from anyways? In the cartoons there's only the little angel and devil that sit on your shoulders, there's no minature idealistic mom demanding perfection from good intending mothers.

Either way, I'm going to do my best to ignore 'super mom', who from here on out will be referred to as 'stupid mom'. The housekeeper comes for the first time on Tuesday. I know I'm the kind of woman that will be tempted to clean top to bottom the morning before she comes, but I'll try to resist that as well. In fact, that temptation comes from 'stupid mom' as well. To all the other guilt ridden women out there, relinquish 'stupid mom'! Send her on a permanent Hiatus. And, be thankful to just be you: a great woman because she does her best and chooses to be happy with that!

"Sooo Romantic"

Scarf for Two by The Black Apple










Shoe Lovers
by: Genevieve Gauckler

"We Thank Thee Oh God for a Prophet"

"Could any people have a greater blessing than to have
standing at their head one who receives and teaches the will of God concerning them? How thankful we ought to be, how thankful we are, for a prophet to counsel us in words of divine wisdom as we walk our paths in these complex and difficult times. The solid assurance we carry in our hearts, the conviction that God will make His will known to His children through His recognized servants, is the real basis of our faith and activity. We either have a prophet or we have nothing; and having a prophet, we have everything."

First Presidency Message “We Thank Thee, O God, for a Prophet”

Yesterday was President Hinckley's funeral services. I really enjoyed hearing the sweet talks and especially the tribute to him after the services. One of his children said that "he never took himself too seriously" and that President Hinckley was not a worrier but a persistent optimist who liked to tell jokes at the dinner table but "never at the expense of others". Tonight as I was surfing around on the internet reading different things about his life, I found this great article about him and his wife. It's a bit lengthy but worth the read. Here's an excerpt:

A couple of years ago, when somebody asked President Hinckley what he would wish for his wife, he said, "That we might live together for as long as the Lord wills and that when the time comes for us to move on, that we might go together or very close together, without one lingering a long time after the other. We've lived together for a long time. I hope we'll continue to move on together."

Recently, while standing at the pulpit together in a church area conference, President Hinckley discussed the years they had been together and began to weep.

"Has it been that bad?" said Marjorie.

How wonderful it must be for him to be reunited with his sweet wife.

Thought Provoking Questions

• Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
• Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
• Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
• Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
• Why is it that when trasporting stuff on a car its called a SHIPment, but if transporting stuff on a ship its called CARgo?
• They say kids brighten the home. That's because they never turn the lights off.
• Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
• Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
• Why do we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway?
• The "Psychic Friends Network" went out of business... didn't they see it coming?
• Can you get cornered in a round room?
• If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?

My Three Cuties!

“When God wants a great work done in the world
or a great wrong righted, he goes about it in a very unusual way. He doesn’t stir up his earthquakes or send forth his thunderbolts. Instead, he has a helpless baby born, perhaps in a simple home and of some obscure mother. And then God puts the idea into the mother’s heart, and she puts it into the baby’s mind. And then God waits. The greatest forces in the world are not the earthquakes and the thunderbolts.
The greatest forces in the world are babies.”
-E. T. Sullivan

Sweet Children

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

Bath Time: An Institution for Patience

Bath time is like an institution for patience.

"No Splashing"
"Turn the water off"
"Sit down"
"No drinking the water"

And, "I said, No Splashing", about 15 more times, sums it up.

I figure "Bath Time" is a success if the water stays in the tub, most the shampoo gets rinsed away and the kiddies get wetter than I do.

More Kyanne Quotes

1. "Mom, I'm sorry for throwing up raspberries on you." (next post for gooey details)

2. "It's Heavenly Father! Look, it's Heavenly Father." Refrence to the Columbia Pictures Statue of Liberty at the beginning of a movie.

3. "I want to give you a true love kiss." (A kiss with a twist!)

4. "Mom, I wish our house would turn into McDonalds."

Sick as a dog but, cute as a PUPPY.

Poor Ky is sick as a dog. She went to play with Grandma today and when they got back, she just looked ill. But, it wasn't until I offered her a "case-a-walla" (quesadilla) and she declined that I knew for sure.

So, Daddy carried the limp little thing down to her bed and that's when it happened, in an instance her face turned several shades of green and then red and then out it all came, more pre-chewed raspberries than I've ever seen in my life. I tried to catch them, but my hands weren't big enough, and her dad wasn't fast enough, so the carpet, after much scrubbing, is a very light shade of pink.

I feel sort of guilty admitting this but, I love sick kidlings. I love them not sick too, but there is something so precious about those big sad eyes, that makes you want to wait on them hand and foot and feed them terrible amounts of sugar. The sweet little whimpers, and all the snuggles, I can't help it, kids are teeth clenching adorable, when they're sick!

The Casserole. It's so Alias.

The Casserole. Such a clever packaging for dinner. It's like covert ops. in the kitchen.

With toddlers that balk at the site of anything green, trying to push veggies is like trying for world peace, right? ("If you're gonna ask a question, give me time to respond. Unless your asking rhetorically, in which the answer is obvious - yes.")

Casserole: avoids the losing, broccoli vs. kid face off, skips the mommy tantrum, and the wasted veggies. Not only is it a one step meal, with minamal amnt. of dish useage, and an economical use for leftovers, but it's a delightful packaging for vegetables.

It's so 'Alias' sneaking all that healthy veg into one meal.

"When I was an adult..."

Ky was puttin' on the naughty show last night with Auntie Meg, so I intervened. While I was explaining that Aunt Meggie was an adult and she needed to obey her, Kyanne interrupted to say with all the dramatics of a A-List actress, "when I was an adult and Aunt Meggie was a kid she obeys me!" There you go.

The Adoring Mommy vs. The Mommy Monster: Round 1

Today in church I can remember holding sweet little Fin and singing "As I have Loved You" and feeling the Spirit so strongly my heart felt like it might explode. I wish I could hold on to those sweet feelings endlessly.

Tonight as Jess and I tag teamed the 3 pips I felt anything but feelings of sweet peace, it was closer to borderline insanity. And, now as I reflect, I wonder why I can't hold onto those tender feelings of the Spirit during the witching hours of the evening when all the zoo animals need to be fed and watered.

Where does the adoring mommy go and how do I slay the "Mommy Monster" that too quickly takes her place?

Puppy Lovers. They come by it honestly.

Achievement Day 40's Program

The Achievement Day Girls did a fantastic job preforming in front of the elderly residents of McKenzie Retirement Home. They sang "Marizy Doats", swing danced to "Jump Jive n' Whail", did a pillow dance to Doris Day's "Pillow Talk", and sang some sweet primary songs. It was darling and the audience just loved the girls. Afterwards some of the ladies in the audience chatted, shook hands and even gave kisses to the girls.

Mattress Sledding

Christmas Holidays

Christmas was a blast! We went down to Raymond to for Christmas eve games and treats at Jess' parents. It was fun insanity all rolled into one. There might be a positive correlation between traveling with small children and psychosis, but the fam's worth it!

Then we headed down to Nana and Poppy's house where we spent Christmas Day and had a wonderful Christmas dinner and little family program. Here's some shots, including Kayla's newest hair style (she said too many people were copying her old style so she had to be more drastic. I wish I could say she gets her guts from me and style for that matter.)

Bridgey's Baby

There's no argument who's baby this is, Bridge staked his claim from their first meeting. He's always checking up on me, making sure my care is up to par.

He must spend a third of his day tending her himself, giving her kisses, which ar more like semi painful headbonks, cheek to cheek nuzzels, and petting her like the puppy he thinks she is.

It's just heart warming and heart stopping all at the same time. I think we all smile and hold our breath a little. Not wanting to discourage his sweet intentions and at the same time wanting to take the baby and yell "duck and cover".

Finley's Arrival

She's here and just perfect. Little rosey cheeks, 10 toes, and 10 fingers to match. Her fingers are so long, she could palm a golf ball and maybe a plum. And, if this wasn't enough she's got dark hair like her Auntie Nina and a deep dimple on the right cheek of her face like her Auntie Leslie.

I have to say I thought my dreams of little dimpled children were done for when I married into a none dimply family, and yet here we are with a one dimpled wonder.

The Stats:
6.2 lbs
18.5 inches
Blue Eyes
Brown Hair

In the Words of Experienced Mothers Everywhere

2 1/2 weeks and counting till' little Fin's arrival. Aside from, crowded and large, I'm feeling fairly anxious. When I first found out I was pregnant I was brimming with delight and enthusiasm, (labor being a good 7 months off), and now I find myself laying in bed in the wee hours of the morning, mourning that inevitable day. The thought seems to twist my stomach into untieable knots.

I just don't remember being this worried in times past. With Ky I was naive, and with Bridge I spent my time worrying about the recovery/newborn stage. But, with this one, I just plain cower at the thought of the needles, drips, and the 18 hours prior to baby's arrival. What's more is the very positively negative response I get when I ask other mothers about life after #3. The word, "Doomed" seems to surface again and again.

So, there you go, with looming visions of labor and the sound of experienced mothers everywhere chanting "Your Doomed", I cannot seem to get much sleep past 5:30am.

September. . . Schools in!

So, this month is a big month for Ky. She starts ballet this week, and preschool the next, and we'll be busy Mon thru Wed. I'm kind of excited to be busier, it seems like I get more done the more I have to do. We're currently on the hunt for a cheap-O van, because we are almost officially a 5 member family! Steppin' into the big leagues. I'm so excited to have little Rusty. She's much more calm than Ky or Bridge ever were in utero. She doesn't move around all that much and if she does it's quite gentle.

The Count Down Begins. I have exactly 12 weeks left not counting the one I'm in! Which really translates to, I have 12 weeks to finish all my house projects and organize 4 very sad closets, a pantry and a few over stuffed cupboards. I still haven't decorated Rusty's room. The lady at General Paint said it best, "it's just not fitting for a baby to be born into the world without wallpaper."

Ky and Bridgey will have to share once Rusty gets moved into the nursery. Were hoping to put this off until she's about 3 months so Bridgey will be at least 19 months and more familiar with english words such as, "stay in your bed". I'm pretty excited about Ky and Bridgey's room, it's going to be teal and brown. I found darling fabrics for curtains and their beds. Gotta love those Poka-dots.

Learning to "Be Still"

Being able to stay home with my children is a blessing I thank the Lord for daily, usually while I'm rocking one of my precious little ones and reflecting on the beauty of my life. But, then there's that time that comes nearly daily, when I don't really have anything pressing. No deadlines, no one counting on me to accomplish something, and no one waiting in the wings to say, "Good Job" if I do.

And, at these moments, I'm unsure of what I "should" be doing. Because, melancholies like me find a list of "shoulds" comforting, not stifling like the Cholerics of the world. Sometimes Mo is like my Yoda, with her profound words of wisdom that seem to permanently penetrate my heart. One that has really made an impression as of late, was to change all the "shoulds" that plague my life, with "coulds". "I should bath the kids before church, so we don't look like the frazzled family we are" to "I could bath the kids before church," etc. The odd thing is, that while the "shoulds" plague my life, I feel lost without them. It's uncomfortable to have down time, or time without an agenda.

Last night while I was feeling this way, I recalled President Hinckley saying, "take time to Be Still". So, I sat on the couch, something I rarely do, and just watched my little ones giggle, play, and rip at each others hair. And, I'd love to report that it was some amazing moment, but really it was just uncomfortable, like when you have a naggy itch that you can't reach. Being "Still" is challenging, but I can see the benefits, and so, I will keep trying to take time out, breath and just "Be Still".

"Can I marry Bridgey. . ."

I feel bad for not having kept up on this over the summer, because I've missed recording so many darling things Ky says. But, here's a few as of late.

At Home Depot Ky kindly explained to the man of many earrings that, "earrings are for girls, not for boys."

Reading before bed she said, "When I'm Jesus, I will play with the kids too."

In July Ky kept asking for "sparklely pink teeth" for her birthday. It was a mystery to me until Sunday when she said "look mom, that guy has sparkle-ly teeth." Referring to the man with braces sitting within hearing distance of us.

Watching Cinderella, she explained that "she's running to God, because he's really nice mom." (referring to the Fairy Godmother).

"Mom I'm going to marry daddy." Mom- But, I'm married to daddy. "Then can I marry Bridgey?"

This morning she sweetly woke me with a kiss and asked if she could climb up and snuggle with Baby Rusty (who is still in my tummy).

Last night I was just tickled when she kindly reached in the popcorn bag to refill my empty lap. It was such a thoughtful gesture as she had a full lap, and I hadn't said anything about my empty one.

"I Dressed Myself" -the button.

Where do you find a button maker at a time like this? It's not in the yellow pages under Button Making, I know I've looked. I just need a few buttons that say, "I dress myself". And, maybe one that says, "My dad picked out these clothes." Ky's at that age, where I would rather keep my sanity, and my hair, rather than force her to wear anything that matches. Her dad on the other hand just has to sprinkle some daddy charm and, "poof" she obeys. This is where the "My dad picked out these clothes" button comes in.
Last week I was a little behind getting ready for church, so Jess took over dressing the kids. Mistake, I know. I'm the mom who had to hang my head in shame as my 'little orphan' daughter walked around with syrup in her matted hair, and two different shoes. No exaggeration. I'll have to make more time on Sundays. But, there's still the daily fashion dilemma. Remedy: Daddy's charm. Beg, borrow, steal, I just need a little.

Love, a mathematical equation?

Question for any, more than first time moms or mothers of the fruitful genre. Do you love your 2nd child, more than you loved your first at birth? Sounds unfair, I know. When Ky was born I just loved her to pieces, but nothing in comparision to how much I loved her 2 years later. This is when Bridge was born, 2 years after Ky. And while, it would seem fair for him to start at the bottom, like his sister had to, 'life is not fair for Canadians' as Grandpa says.
I loved him as much as I loved her the moment he arrived! So, Jess and I were doing the math, Ky: 0, Bridgey: 2 yrs, Rusty? Does Rusty get to start at 3 years of love because that's how long I've been practicing my motherly love, or do we count, Ky's 3 years plus Bridgey's 2 years, equaling 5 years of love?
Okay so this is really just a silly post to say, I love how my love as a mother grows exponentially with each child. It's truely amazing. I've heard both my mother and my mother in law, say that when they were pregnant with their 2nd they were nervous they wouldn't be able to love the 2nd baby as much as they loved their first. Of course all those who know Jason, Chris and me (my mom's first, 2nd, 3rd) know this is just silly. I'm the 3rd and the "obvious" favorite, well there has been talk of Chris taking claim on this spot, but who can trust hearsay.

Skate or Die

This one's dedicated to Daddy's little ambitious skater. Seeing some kid on a board Ky was quick to explain "he is a boy but, skateboards is for girls and daddy's."