"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
True? False? This is one of those quotes that sounds really wise, but is it? Either way, this week I guess I was in the mood to give my consent. I hate when I do that. It isn't the first time and I'm guessing it won't be the last. As much as I would like to walk away from a mean comment with my head held high, not allowing it to effect me, it always does. How do you choose not to care? Especially if you care about the person who made you feel that way. The only solution I've found success with is what my sister-in-law calls The Jerk Theory. It's just like it says act a bit like a jerk and people will behave themselves. What can I say, lame I know, but it works. It's like my dad with cats. He's allergic and trys to keep his distance, this only makes him irresistible to the felines. As effective as this solution is, it's not me. It takes so much effort for me to remember not to smile at someone or speak in Bored Monotone. And, the moment they show a hint of decency I hastily give up the act.
I've always had a hard time staying mad. When Jess does something that really gets my goat, I have to call and leave him a message right away if I can't get a hold of him, because I know by the time he walks through the door I'll be so happy to see him I'll just hug and kiss him. Not helpful when your trying to make something sink in like: put the toilet seat down!
About a week ago my oldest brother and I were in a full fledged argument about our mom and when I could think of nothing more to back my point, I did what any dignified angry woman would do: make things up. But in the middle of my rant he sweetly apologises for having 'offended me', and I predictably melt, followed up by gushing. "Oh, no Jason, I'm just being ridiculous. I just said that because I couldn't think of anything else, I know you love me and mom and would never want to...." He cuts me off mid-dialogue. "Stephanie! STEPH-A-NIE! I was being sarcastic!" And, continues his awful rant. Awh! Of all the nerve. Really in retrospect I can't help but laugh at this one, it's so humorous. (Not that your off the hook Jay, in case you read this).
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" -I blog mostly for my kiddos and I wish I had some great words of wisdom that would help when someone tramples their little spirits, but I don't.
Just that in the end it's better to be kind than bitter. Remembering you can never know what experiences that person has or hasn't had to make them the way are. So, love them and let it go. I'm not suggesting to be a Martyr or a mat for reckless stomping, just that forgiveness yields happiness.