"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
-Eleanor Roosevelt
-Eleanor Roosevelt
True? False? This is one of those quotes that sounds really wise, but is it? Either way, this week I guess I was in the mood to give my consent. I hate when I do that. It isn't the first time and I'm guessing it won't be the last. As much as I would like to walk away from a mean comment with my head held high, not allowing it to effect me, it always does. How do you choose not to care? Especially if you care about the person who made you feel that way. The only solution I've found success with is what my sister-in-law calls The Jerk Theory. It's just like it says act a bit like a
jerk and people will behave themselves. What can I say, lame I know, but it works. It's like my dad with cats. He's allergic and trys to keep his distance, this only makes him irresistible to the felines. As effective as this solution is, it's not me. It takes so much effort for me to remember not to smile at someone or speak in Bored Monotone. And, the moment they show a hint of decency I hastily give up the act.I've always had a hard time staying mad. When Jess does something that really gets my goat, I have to call and leave him a message right away if I can't get a hold of him, because I know by the time he walks through the door I'll be so happy to see him I'll just hug and kiss him. Not helpful when your trying to make something sink in like: put the toilet seat down!
About a week ago my oldest brother and I were in a full fledged argument about our mom and when I could think of nothing more to back my point, I did what any dignified angry woman would do: make things up. But in the middle of my rant he sweetly apologises for having 'offended me', and I predictably melt, followed up by gushing. "Oh, no Jason, I'm just being ridiculous. I just said that because I couldn't think of anything else, I know you love me and mom and would never want to...." He cuts me off mid-dialogue. "Stephanie! STEPH-A-NIE! I was being sarcastic!" And, continues his awful rant. Awh! Of all the nerve. Really in retrospect I can't help but laugh at this one, it's so humorous. (Not that your off the hook Jay, in case you read this).
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" -I blog mostly for my kiddos and I wish I had some great words of wisdom that would help when someone tramples their little spirits, but I don't.
Just that in the end it's better to be kind than bitter. Remembering you can never know what experiences that person has or hasn't had to make them the way are. So, love them and let it go. I'm not suggesting to be a Martyr or a mat for reckless stomping, just that forgiveness yields happiness.
8 comments:
Tough one! I think the quote can be accurate, but on the other hand, bogus. My brothers would always say to me "I'm not making you mad, you are just allowing yourself to be mad at me". I've always hated that sort of statement. Doesn't make the situation any better. We are all human - we can feel happy, mad, and hurt. I don't believe that I choose to feel all these emotions on my own, rather others play a part in making me feel them too.
I laughed when I saw, 'Back to your bridge you evil troll!'
Well, true or false...hmmm...
I think that saying is an ideal. People have overcome a lot by not allowing others to make them feel inferior. This probably is too much but I thought of the civil rights movement. Evidence suggests it can be done but clearly, it's difficult to do.
Anyway, it's more than hard when people purposely do things to be hurtful whether blatant or subtle. Since I have not mastered this, the most truthful advice that I could give from my standpoint in life is leave any meanie a flaming poo. Just kidding. Mostly. ;)
See, I always tell you you are just too stinking nice! Be a little grumpy like me and you will be fine!
Stephanie I don't know you but my sister loves you and after reading this post I think we have a lot in common :)
You are so sweet, I agree, holding grudges and being mad just takes to much effort. I ususally move onto another bridge and go on my way.
You have been watching Princess Protection Program haven't you?!
you have such a gift for perspective and analyzing things inretrospect. That's a talent we don't all posess. Although I can't imagine a less then bubbly happy you, it sounds like you have things pegged. I let things get to me all the time and it always ends up making me the unhappier of the two. Wish i could learn how to "not make" myself angry too.???
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