Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Worry. . . a maternal art form.

Sometimes I think this blog should be titled something like: Circus Survivor or Complaints with a Smile. Jess says I should win some sort of award for how effortlessly I can crinkle my forehead and invent things to worry about. I don't mean to be such a big whiner and yet it comes so naturally.

But, since we're on the subject, let me just say: Motherhood can be so trying. I know some would glorify it with terms like refining or progressive, but really today it was just teeth grittingly hard. Some of you really know what I'm talking about, and some will, come another child or two.
I guess, I'm surprised at just how difficult it is to be the patient sweet mother I imagine in my head. After all, this is all I've ever wanted. As a child I dreamed of dollies that came with adoption papers, and picked "House" over every other game all through grade school.

And, while I find it more challenging than I expected, it's so much more wonderful than I ever imagined. I just wish I had a little book with a few answers. I don't even need them all, but a few, a glimpse of light indicating movement in the right direction would be so motivating. And, while it's always been a challenge, now that I have three little sweet spirits with all their own individual needs and wants I'm beside myself overwhelmed on some days. They're like little puzzles, advanced mysteries for me, a very mediocre detective, to solve.

Luckily there are things like these delicious bite sized brownies, my blog where I can complain and put life back into perspective, and really good music like the Mouldy Peaches for me to chill to.

While I'm so happy for this wonderful chocolately moment when the house is still and I can just be me, I do really look forward to the happy mornings when I wake to my little
smiley kiddies that are excited to start the day with me, their complainy mother who loves them madly!

Now playing: Ewan McGregor - How wonderful life is
via FoxyTunes

1 comment:

Keshia Larsen said...

Oh Steph... I know just how you feel! Sometimes it feels like there's 50 of them! Oh the high needs of a toddler & a newborn. We really need to get together more often... it helps to relieve the stress... and sometimes with liv & bridge add to it but you know... whatever lol. Well... what I was meaning to write was we all imagine the calm mommy but the truth is..... she only comes with a bottle of wine!