Thursday, May 22, 2008

"But, when you lose our children. . ."

I don't want to give myself airs but, I think I may be in the top ten most disorderly mothers in all the world. You know the kind that brings all the kids in but forgets the groceries, or better yet brings the groceries in but, forgets the baby (true story).

Lucky for me I am married to my bestfriend, who knows that most days I walk around with half my brain missing and likes me, anyhow. When he purposed, as he was putting the ring on my finger he said, "Now, I know one day your going to lose this, and that's okay, I'll get you another, but when you lose our children. . . you need to find them."

And, that's me. I've been this way as long as I can remember, and it drives me - crazy. But, never so crazy as now that I have 3 helpless, and dependent, little children, who are counting on "Mom" to have it together.

I have dedicated this week like so many in the past, to becoming an orderly mother: a clean home, well groomed, bathed, and behaved children, that smile when I say "bedtime" . So, far it hasn't been the fairytale I pictured, but not entirely a failure, either.

This week is different from all the rest as I have given up the "Projects" piece of my life. Anyone who knows me knows I do projects: Sick, well, 9 months pregnant. And, as I reflect, it really seems a tad on the neurotic side. Like maybe I was searching to find meaning in the simplicity of my life.

I'm guessing that somewhere along the way I bought into the lies of the adversary such as: being a mother, isn't enough of a contribution or self worth is gained through what you can produce, when really it's the process of production. I became so busy with good things, that I shifted my focus from the best things. You would think that simplifying your life would be: simple. But, I'm finding it takes great effort and restraint to just enjoy the ordinary events of the day, and choose contentment.

I'm thankful to have modern day prophets that give us guidance relevant to us today. I really appreciated Elder Oaks talk in the Fall conference, "Good, Better, Best", and I appreciate the examples of the great women in my family and in my ward. I gain perspective and strength from the way they live their lives.

Here's to "being still", realizing there is a season for all things and. . . trimming back the "good" to make room for the "best"
"[We should] work at our responsibility as parents as if everything in life counted on it, because in fact everything in life does count on it.” -Gordon B.Hinckley

4 comments:

Amanda said...

Ummm, yes, I find myself really agreeing with this post. Part of the biggest struggle for me is being happy just being a mother. I use the "projects" to drowned out all the other mundane stuff we have to do.

Carrie said...

LOVE this post, Steph. Definitely a good reminder for me too. I'm a project woman myself, but I think the kids need to see that they're the most important "project." It's easy to forget. Love you!

Lindsay Pratt said...

Okay, you have the cutest blog ever! And your writing is so entertaining...you're good at what you do!

Elizabeth Cranmer said...

okay! So this is the most perfect post ever!! So true, when will i start to listen myself. Oh and what Jess said when he proposed..... could you two be any more perfect for eachother!