Worry. . . a maternal art form.

Sometimes I think this blog should be titled something like: Circus Survivor or Complaints with a Smile. Jess says I should win some sort of award for how effortlessly I can crinkle my forehead and invent things to worry about. I don't mean to be such a big whiner and yet it comes so naturally.

But, since we're on the subject, let me just say: Motherhood can be so trying. I know some would glorify it with terms like refining or progressive, but really today it was just teeth grittingly hard. Some of you really know what I'm talking about, and some will, come another child or two.
I guess, I'm surprised at just how difficult it is to be the patient sweet mother I imagine in my head. After all, this is all I've ever wanted. As a child I dreamed of dollies that came with adoption papers, and picked "House" over every other game all through grade school.

And, while I find it more challenging than I expected, it's so much more wonderful than I ever imagined. I just wish I had a little book with a few answers. I don't even need them all, but a few, a glimpse of light indicating movement in the right direction would be so motivating. And, while it's always been a challenge, now that I have three little sweet spirits with all their own individual needs and wants I'm beside myself overwhelmed on some days. They're like little puzzles, advanced mysteries for me, a very mediocre detective, to solve.

Luckily there are things like these delicious bite sized brownies, my blog where I can complain and put life back into perspective, and really good music like the Mouldy Peaches for me to chill to.

While I'm so happy for this wonderful chocolately moment when the house is still and I can just be me, I do really look forward to the happy mornings when I wake to my little smiley kiddies that are excited to start the day with me, their complainy mother who loves them madly!

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Now playing: Ewan McGregor - How wonderful life is
via FoxyTunes

The Princess Bride and a 3 year old promise.

I showed Kyanne my wedding dress today. She said it was "lovely" (a favorite) like Giselle's (Enchanted). About an hour later I came down stairs to find little pumpkin like this.

Then the sweet little thing, (with a bit of coaching) asked me if she 'could wear it on her wedding day'. "Of course" I said. And, I even videotaped it, just in case in 20 odd years from now, she's more concerned about fashion than her 3 year old promises to her old mom.

If the shoe fits... Buy it in every color.

I love you pieces and back!

It's so important in life to have a person or two that really 'get' you. Someone who understands where your coming from, even if they don't agree and is always rooting for you on the side lines. My mom has been on this team for as long as I can remember. Tonight as I was laying here in bed I couldn't stop thinking about just how much I appreciate her.

I love that she knows where I'm headed, before I finish my sentence or how I feel by the way I say 'Hello'. I love that I can tell her all my sorrows and fears and when I'm my worst self, she's still pulling for me.

When I was little, it was no secret that I thought the sun rose and set by her. It was no secret, because there at the top of each paper, in my 3rd grade hand, it read "I love mom" with a multitude of little floating hearts. My mom said she wasn't sure if she should feel flattered or a little embarrassed for fear the teacher would think she had taught me to do this.

I guess I'm not really sure where this late night post is going, except to say, Thanks to my mom for remembering my love affair with Red Vines each time she comes to visit. For being someone I can count on to leave me a billizion or more phone messages reminding me I'm dear. For not letting me off the phone before she tells me just 'how' much she loves me, Jess, Kyanne, Bridgey and Fin and for things like, secretly calling me every year since I left home to remind me of family birthdays and sending Mothers Day cards in the mail.

There's so many things I love and appreciate about my mom it would take up all the cyber space to tell. So, I'll just suffice to say:
Thanks Mom, for still taking time out to listen, understand, and 'get me'. For being so patient with your adult daughter who so often needs humbling and guidance, that you should win an award. Love you to pieces and back!

He Did...

This week I have been pursued by a geefully twirlng toddler waving an 8" Butcher's Knife and had a brick sized 2 x 4 happily chucked at my pinnie little head by the same assailant. Awh, Bridgey. That little guy with the 'melt my heart' smile in the picture below. I can't help it, everyone knows, I'm a sucker for that kid!

She said...

"Your pretty mom. I like your bum."

"Is your dad the, 'Man in your life'?"
"No, Nala (from the Lion King) is the Princess in my life."

"If you say "No" to me again, I will have to say "No" to you, Mom." - Yikes.