Little Fin...our sweet third wheel.

If Ky and Bridgey are the first and second wheels on the bus, Little Fin is our third. 

My fun-loving, happy girl, seem a bit lost lately. Being the middle child looks tricky. I'm so glad she has Rusty. Even though he's 4 years her younger, she just adores his company and has found him to be a real kindred spirit. 

If Fin is our 3rd wheel, Rusty is our fourth and he really helps level things.

What will help them succeed?

*Think what will help them have success? How can I help Bridge be successful in doing his chores around the house? How can I help Kyanne be successful in today's math lesson. How can I help Fin be successful in staying in her bed after the lights go out?

When I think like this, I'm suddenly on their side, wanting them to do great. My view of them changes from, kids who don't care about obeying their mom, don't care about following directions, to kids who want to do what their asked and just don't quite know how. Suddenly I have compassion and I want to be in their corner, cheering them on, even if they only make it half way the first few times.

This is so different than the usual me, who asks Bridge to put away the shoes by the front door 3 times and wants to strangle him by time 4 but instead, I feel all controlled and good parent like when I give him a consequence instead, but is that really what will help him succeed? Sometimes yes, but other times no.

As I continue to think about our day, I find that Bridgey really does want to please me, he shows me this all throughout the day as he asks what he can do to help me, he just has trouble following through.

His little mind is amazing and so curious. I've heard him refered to as a blur, and I'd add quickly distracted as a back up. He's so interested in everything around him, it's hard to follow through on something less interesting like putting away shoes. But, the more I help him be successful the more I find he it makes him feel good and he tries to be successful all on his own.

How do I Tame that Mommy Monster!#@

I've spent a lot of time the past couple weeks, lecturing Kyanne about

"choosing a good attitude -even when it's hard."

 But, I know from experience, like the rest of you, a lecture is about as inspiring as a poke in the eye. Instead I'm trying to sing when I feel like growling at the innocent Littles.

Sadly for Jess and my kiddos, I can do "Martyr" really well. And, I see my sweet Ky mimicking me, Awwwwwhhh. Singing is all I've thought of at present to combat the grumps. Depending on the moment, I can be heard humming or belting out "Count Your Many Blessings..." because that just what I need to throw out those "I deserve" glasses and remember I'm so blessed.

I'd love to hear anything you guys do in the moment, to tame your Mommy Monster, mine is around too much lately.

 

(Bridgey made this depiction of me and him. 

So, cute that he made me saying "I love Bridge". 

Do you think he knows about the "Golden Boy"?)

"Where do babies come from?"

While shopping for the baby yesterday.

Bridgey: "Mom, how did Spot get in your tummy?"

Mom: "Heavenly Father." (we've been over this.)

Bridgey: "Yeah, and you have to be an adult and get married, but how does the baby get there?" (it's like he knows I'm keeping something from him)

Mom: "Well, the Mommy and Daddy ask Heavenly Father for a baby, and then Heavenly Father sends a baby to the mommy's tummy."

Bridge: "Oh, ok."

Mom: "Phew." (cue: laughter from surrounding shoppers)

Man, he's been interested in how this baby stuff works lately. How the baby comes out, and how he got there. I'm doing my best to satisfy his 4 year old curiosity, and maintain his innocence. Because when I asked these questions as a 6 year old I remember getting more than I bargained for. I've been grossed out ever since.

From the mouth of Babes. . .

Thankful Goodnight prayers.

Kyanne is thankful to "be an inventor, soon" and that she could "discover so many new things at the park with Best friend Lexi". (I'm assuming this is in reference to the lady bug that peed in the palm of her hand, I think she was more bemused by the golden goo than perturbed by it. That a girl. The intrigue of Buggy whiz.

Bridgey was thankful for his "babysitters even though, I don't like to be babysitted. And, for all my girlfriends, even though they messed up my room."PS. Bridgey's prayers are priceless. Often I find him saying his morning prayer, kneeling, bum up in the middle of a room, with a squeaky voice he reserves for small children and Heavenly Father. It is honestly so sweet, I unfailingly walk away teary.

Two other little convos worth repeating,

Ky's statement after Jess finished explaining sin and the need for the atonement. "Well, when I'm eight, I'm just not going to sin, dad." Said so sincerely and matter of fact. Like 'I pick option one, sin seems like a bother.'

Why is it important to dress modest?
"So, if a policeman pulls you over, you don't go to jail."
Seat belt safety. . . dressing safely, I confuse them all the time. I'm not sure how she came up with this but her serious tone of voice left me straining to keep a my face straight.

The Ky Funnies.

Ky: "I can't wait to read the new Unicorn book with you!!"

Ky's first grade dress.

Mom: "Actually, I didn't buy it because it talked about some bad things" (the dad leaves his wife and kids)

Ky: (noddling her head) "Like Mud?"

Another Ky funny. Last week I got a call from a friend who's daughter rides home on the bus with Ky. I guess this little girl came home worried that "Ky and her family didn't have food or a house because her family is so poor." When her mom asked why she thought this she said, "Kyanne said her family gives all their money to the kids in Africa. Do we have to do that mom?"

Wish I could take credit for this generous idea, but it's all Ky's. While we are trying to help her school raise money for a school house in Africa, we still have food of our own. Her imagination has been doing overtime this week.

She also came home from school on Friday after the field trip and told me her teacher didn't let her go because she didn't receive her permission form. After having called the school and left 3 messages last week to ensure they received the permission form, and finally talking to Ky's teacher that morning who said she had received it, I was livid.

I did what any over reacting Mother Bear would do, I called and wrote a "I mean this in the nicest way possible" email to the teacher. But, lo and behold this too was only due to Ky's imagination, she had attended the field trip. Awh, I only felt like a semi-idiot when the teacher called me back very confused.

Measure twice, cut once.

Here's a new dress I sewed for little Fin. The shoulders are a bit big, I didn't do any measuring beforehand. You all know me: Measure twice, cut once. Well, one day at least. One day I'll be that patient, that logical, but for now, I was just stoked it came out a wearable dress!

Believe It or Not?

Most people just don't seem that awe struck when I tell them my 4 year old sewed this adorable unicorn -minus the horn. But, it must be because they don't believe that she machine sewed it together, stuffed it with the help of a pencil, hand stitched the belly up, and then sewed on all those buttons, ALL by Herself! But, it's true. I know it's crazy, she's just one awesome talented gal. All I did was cut out the pattern (because she was napping) and I sewed on the mane for her. Way to go Ky!
Sad side note: When I enthusiastically asked her if she wanted to have a, Dress a Pet Party, where the kids could sew little tutus for their pets, she sweetly said, "Maybe, we shouldn't sew for my birthday mom." It was pretty cute.

Living nextdoor to the "Crazies"!

Today I heard a car come zooming down my cul-de-sac (nothing makes my heart race quite like a zooming car and kids near by). And, so the mother in me (as in: my mother in me) jumps up mid-conversation with my friends and runs out the open door to the middle of the road where I stand with my hand out like a crossing guard in front of this moving car and proceed to give them my infamous 'Slow down, Kids at Play' lecture, and they pretend to be mildly interested and polite. When I turned to go back in the house I saw my neighbors watching this neurotic scene from their front porch.


 

These particular neighbors are young, single, and I think they were friends with the guys I pulled over. In any case if there was any doubt about whether they lived next to The Crazies there is no longer. And, here I am (to the right) in a couple more years, you don't think Ky will mind?

 


Ky: "Witches shouldn't grab kids, but they just don't have Mommy's to teach them not to, huh?
(That's right Honey, witches just don't know better. She's so sweet. Tolerant of even witches, the Democrats would just love her.)

Ky: "Mom, why do you always stop children in the street and tell them what to do?" Because I am Nana's daughter! But, also because their mommy's should be doing it, okay I know your not suppose to parent other people kids but I'm such a crazy when it comes to busy roads and wandering children. My poor kids have been so tramatized by me they start screaming when they see a car coming towards them, not what I was going for, but better than not being cautious enough, right? How's my rationalizing? Really it's just my mom in me. It's the same reason I tell boys to 'quit looking at my sister that way!' when I take Keshia places. It's what my mom would do, and if I don't protect her, who will? It's not like she's 24, and married with 2 kids. :)

" Please bless and Thank-you for my Little Mermaid Jammie Dress..."

(Newest creation. Just made it out of an old Disney bed sheet,
right along with dinner yesterday,
That's how easy serging is, I'm loving it.)

I can't decide if it's bad or not that I write down alot of the kids prayers. I don't really think so, but hopefully I'm not offending anyone who feels otherwise. I figure they make Heavenly Father chuckle too, they're so innocent and sweet. Anyhow today part of Ky lunch prayer included thanks for each individual jammie dress she owns.


"Thank you that I can have a new Little Mermaid jammy dress, and not just one old one, because now I have two. . . oh, I mean three, thank you for my Strawberry Shortcake jammie dress too."

Bridgey: "Look at this cutest beetle, I got! (meanwhile squishing sad beetle) Oh, my gosh, she's so cute Mom!" (Is that my child or what?)

Conversation in the Van:
Ky: Baby dinosaurs are so cute.
B: No they're just naughty. They pinch and pinch and pinch you.
(I'll spare you the repeat of this conversation another 10 times, but it just delights my heart to watch these 'big' kids sit and have their own conversations and debates all day long.)

Insults and Accusations

My husbands partner and one of our dearest friends, John, recently commented on what a "sanguine couple" Jess and I are. That sounded like a compliment until I heard he used his observations of our chronically messy home to backup his theory.

As I contemplated this I realized deep down I view myself as a as a cleaning perfectionist like my mother, but in actuality Johns right, I've only inherited half of my mother's over zealous cleaning trait: the mental half.

I practically obsess about a tidy house. I nag and complain with the best of wives, but that's about where it ends. I almost feel liberated as I write this next line:

I am a terrible house keeper, and not that fabulous of a homemaker in general. While I probably own a more extensive collection of organizational/cleaning books than the public library, my laundry continues to threaten take over and the pizza shop knows me by name. But, I think I can be okay with, I think.

Now I have theories. I think somewhere deep in my subconscious I have some morphed unrealistic ideal of a homemaker and "good" mother. This an ideal that matches up with my core beliefs or values and yet it seems to influences my very self concept. Leaving me with guilt and grouchy feelings that often cause everyone else grief as well.

I met with a physiologist recently who asked me to go home and reevaluate my ideals and goals and see if they match up with what I really believe to be truth. Everyone should do this every now and then, to make sure they're heading on the path they mean to be on.

I won't give up on trying to be a better homemaker for my sweet family who needs clean clothes and nutritious meals, but instead recognize where these things fall on my priority list. I've been trying to remember my morning prayers and ask what would be most important for me to spend my efforts doing that day.

Time and time again I feel the most important things, are things that will encourage feelings of love, and joy for our family. This sometimes includes cleaning and errands but even then my focus is on keeping the Spirit, and having joyful moments with the kids. I realize when my goals of a well run home are first on my priority list, everything seems get out of sorts. It's not that those activities are a problem, but rather my goals. I can do those activites with the goal of helping my family feel my love, and hopefully through this feel and recognize Heavenly Father's love for them as well and the way I feel at the end of a day is drastically different than how I feel when my goal is a show ready home. Especially because that's really not possible with these little rascals at my heels all day There's a reason there are not children in those show homes! :)

I love writing out my thoughts, it helps me put things into even better perspective. Writing things down also helps me remember but, nothing helps me remember to put this lesson into action as asking the Lord what he would have me do with my day each morning, if only I could remember to do that everyday! :) Maybe I need a prayer rock at the foot of my bed, so I stub my toe.

Metallica meets the Children's Song Book!

Disclaimer: Long Post ahead. Labor Stories, Tantrums, Meltdowns. (Stories from the Trenches.)

And, so went the ending to our night. After our really fun Halloween Party-Part 3, with great effort I put my well sugared, overtired (great combo) kids to bed. Then I went to nurse Fin in her room, directly above the kids room where Ky was having an all out screaming match with her brother. I couldn't quite make out what was being said, so I decided they were singing my praises.

When this strategy could no longer keep away the angry throat welling up inside, I decided to sing, rather than storm down the stairs, promptly provide each kid with a good spank and perhaps a muzzle.

In the end I settled on "[Singing my] favorite hymn . . . with vigor and vim." I'm not sure what 'vim' is, but I took it to mean Metallica meets the Children's Song Book. I choose my favorite "A child's prayer". There was something about belting out a children's hymn, rocking a little baby, and 2 screaming toddlers in the background that brought humor to my heart. Fin must have found the combo soothing because she fell fast asleep.

Hooray for the Children's Primary Songs that bailed me out once again. And since this blog is the only journal I keep, I just want to add my testimony that the hymns are inspired and I love them. I find that good music in general softens my heart and helps me feel the Spirit. I'm thankful for the atmosphere it brings to our home.

The kids and Jess and I sing together just about every night. None of us sing well. Me being the worst, and I'm not trying to give myself airs. When I was little my mom told me the truth, "Honey, your tone deaf." Alrighty then. If you can't trust your mom, who can you trust.

Music helps me in my role as a mother. More times than I would like to count I have found myself singing, "Do as I'm dong" because it helps me make good choices when I'm frustrated with the kids. I figure I am their primary example of what a parent is like. How we parent will most likely influence how our children will parent later in life, whether we want it to or not.

I also sing when I'm scared. For instance, Labor. Yes, I sing straight through labor. All three times. With Ky, Jess held my hand and sang right along with me. "I love to see the temple..."and "Families can be Together Forever". Cheesy, out right weird, I know. I can't imagine how odd it must have seemed to the nurses flinting about. They probably thought, "Singing during labor is weird but, What's a temple?" Couldn't we have at least picked more normal songs.

When I was getting my epidural with Fin. I was so focused on not moving that I didn't notice I was singing until Dr. Lepert started singing along. Of course he didn't know "A child's prayer" so he chimed in with "I feel pretty, oh so pretty..." We sang it together and the next thing I knew it was all over.

I love to sing. And, before I had kids I prayed so often to have a pretty voice, by the time I had a baby so I could sing to him or her, that I really thought the Lord would bless me with one. As I look back now it makes me giggle. Maybe he didn't bless me with my wish so I could learn that the "Tone Deaf" of the world could also find joy and blessings through singing.

Turning over some new Leaves

This Fall the Larsen Family has turned over some new leaves.

1. Mom got organized! It's been a perilous journey but, Hooray for little ol' frazzeled me! It started with the Pantry. Yes, our pantry no longer has 7 gallons of paint (literally), saws at random, caulking guns and adhesives for all occasions. I'm feel so empowered! Look out Linen closet! (if I'm not back in a few hours send in the dogs!)
2. Ky started "real school" as she calls it. Don't even try saying preschool or prepare to be corrected with a light scolding to boot! This is serious business. She goes to real school now, which apparently means many things, such as she's "almost an adult", needs a backpack even if she can't bring it to school, and no longer takes naps.

It's crazy how expensive it is too. Preschool? or Feed a small country? I guess we'll go with preschool? Everyday we are woken to the same 3 questions.

• Can I watch Treehouse?
• Will you make me breakfast?
• Do I have school today?

It's sweet how she loves preschool (I figure I'm safe since the 'almost adult' can't read yet). Her teachers name is Mrs. Hamilton, (she's taught pre-k for 25 years) and she has 10 classmates. Her favorites being Jayden, Area, Tiley, and Montana. I could do without the ATTITUDE she brings home on school days, but other than that were pretty happy for her. Bridgey misses her lots during those two hours, but we usually can keep ourselves pretty amused with Ikea hotdogs or something until it's time to go get Ky.
3. Bridgey has started talking and whispering. I am so happy. We went through a horrid stage of screeching and shrill screaming (It was torture). I was worried I wouldn't make it through, but alas we did, hearing and all.

He is now a full on conversationalist, and we can even understand a few words here and there. Ky's really good at understanding him, so sometimes we get her to translate for Bridge and Finn. Her Fin translations:

• "Fin says she wants to share her cookies with me, isn't that nice?"
• "Fin is saying she's awake" (she's asleep in her room)
• "Fin is saying she likes my dress and when she's bigger she wants to borrow it."

4. Hooray for Jess! His company has really taken off. I am so proud of him. He's so visionary, even when it's not so apparent to everyone else. It's been so fun having him work from home, and having a consistent schedule for family time.

5. Jess has been dubbed: "Pooh Master" -(a moment of silence please). I've always loved him, but now it's got to be twice as much. I hate when baby poo's make that 'People Poo' transition. It really grosses me out. And, worse is when your Heavy Weight starts begrudging your invasion of 'his personal spaces', and sends a few "kicks to the face" your way.

6. Fin officially became a walker at 9 months. She took her first little wobbly steps about a month ago. She's our "smart baby", our very own Livi. She's delighted with herself.

7. Family Home Evening every week. This leaf is one we all love, even Jess and Meg who do a fair amount of whining. A friend of mine shared with me their fhe routines which included testimonies each week. I love this idea so much we've decided to adopt it. The kids stood at the fireplace to say their testimonies on Sunday and it was so sweet. Ky's went on for a good solid 5 mins. She's such a grateful little girl.

A miniature reflection...

Who needs a mirror when you have 3 little kids around to reflect the real you, for better and for worse.

Today I overheard Drill Srgt. Ky, laying down the law, complete with -the Mommy Stink Eye (which looks so much like her Nana's, it's scary).

Ky: "Uh-oh Bridgey. UH-OH (envision: evil eye, hands on hips). I'm the Mommy and you need to obey. Do you understand? Bridgey..."

While not yet fluent in English I think he got the idea, because he replied, in standard Bridgey Protocol: "NO!" and a simultaneous smack to the head. Sighing to myself, I again vow to be the picture of patience with a smile and a plate of cookies for good measure, that a "good" mother should be.

Sometimes as I am curtly correcting a kid I have this flash of insight: These are Heavenly Fathers babies too. How would I feel if someone spoke that way to my kid and dragged them by their hair (okay that's a bit excessive but I have thrown Ky over my shoulder while she was kicking and whaling loud enough to wake the dead, winning the sympathy of every person in the Lethbridge mall.)

Thinking of my kids as belonging to someone else helps me be more patient. And, see them as little people exploring their world, boundaries, and mother's self restraint.

Another of my less desirable traits Ky has taken up is: grrrr....ing. She's practically as good at it as I am... practically. Some of Ky's more common reason to grrr...

• not getting the 'square bowl' for breakfast.
• pants
• shirts without puff sleeves
• denying her 50 requests to 'cut and dye her hair black like Snow White's"
• letting Bridgey be the "Guest" and by that I mean letting him pick which color cup he wants at lunch.
• reminding her who's the Mommy
• washing her blanket
• lunch items without cheese
• non heel-shoes
• non bow-shoes
• pony tails as opposed to "Ballet Buns"
• chastisement for wearing dresses off the shoulder.

The truth is, in retrospect (definitely not in the moment) I love these quirky things about my little feisty princess, who's become a fabulous Copy Cat (speaking of which she learning how to spell C-A-T today at school).

She seems to notice and then copy everything I do, right down to the day I wore a shirt with a bit of a plungy neck line. I was just wearing it under a sweat shirt but the next thing I knew, there was Ky tugging at her modest shirt in attempts to be like mom. Or how about the time she wore a shoe lace around her bosom for days because she wanted a bra like Mommy's.

In the last few months I've come to realize just how important my example is. How close they watch and quickly they absorb.

A perfect moment...

A snapshot, a glimpse into this moment that I love:

Fin stops nursing to look up and smile coyly. She pokes at my mouth with her chubby little fingers until I expectantly nibble them and then giggles delightfully.

Bridge is riding his mini snow board atop our tired couch in nothing but his Skippies, while measuring the air with my retractable sewing tape, and yelling "duh....duh-na...na----".

Ky is twirling like a drunken sailor and tripping over her new snow white dress that is 6 sizes too big. Singing so loud the neighbors are wishing their house wasn't in arms reach of ours.

The dishwasher is running in the background (a great accomplishment this early in the morning) and the house while simi tidy, still looks like a preschool/fabric store.

And, life feels perfect even if just for a moment.

(And, the moment has passed, with the pain from the Bridgey monster taking a bite out of my hair, literally.)

"Well Belle didn't have a Mommy to teach her about Modesty."

I am so lucky! Just look at these handsome boys! I'm always trying to sneak in a few pictures on Sunday, the one day of the week that the children look less like orphans and I find the time to put on clean clothes. This week I'm trying to break Ky out of her princess craze and make her wear "clothes" rather than "Princess dresses" disguised as ragges and do her hair even if were just staying home. It's been a full year now, of tattern and torn dresses and wild woman hair. It's time.

Below is Kyanne emerging from the corner for about the 4th time that day for dressing immodest. We've explained the principals of modesty (as best we can to a 4 year old) and she just counters with, "But Sleeping Beauty wears her dress like this, and so does Belle, and Giselle". I've told her that "they didn't have Mommies to teach them about modesty" but she continues to "sneak" around the house with her dresses off the shoulders anyhow.

Lesson Learned #1

Today in the elevator at the mall, another mother asked me how I would describe having 3 children, of course I wanted to say, "Sunshine everyday". But, this was just after Kyanne tried to redecorate Siren's and Bridgey protested to join in so loudly that more than a few customers gave me the "disapproving" eye with a simultaneous head shake, so for that moment I felt inclined to speak the truth. . . "Hard", I said. To which I was surprised that she acted surprised at my response and said in this almost sing song voice, "Really? My friends with three and four kids say, three was a breeze."

Feeling close to deaf and happily numb by this time I politely told her, "their lying".
Carrie has a wall on her blog called, "Lesson Learned". Here's mine:

Lesson Learned #1:
Children belong in zoo's, not malls.

Getting ready for a Hot Date to the Disney Store

We've been trying to take the kids on a date each week. If Ky's picking, it usually involves window shopping at the Disney store in the mall, riding on the Merry Go Round and maybe some french fries. Look at those lashes, lucky girl. Thanks Grandpa!

9.0 volts of Magnificence

I know kids are suppose to be little scientists exploring their surroundings and testing their boundaries. And, you'd think this would be enough for me to be patient with their little experiments: (In the last 48 hours)

If I step on this glass frame with it crack?
How about his mirror?
If I tip over this Jumbo box of Cheerios will they hit the freshly mopped floor?
If I rub this orange marker all over my body, an innocent lamp and my new Snow White doll will anyone notice? (strong resemblence to the Chucky doll)

And, that is why I'd like to send a shout out to Black & Decker. My love for my 9.0 volt Handheld Dustbuster has reached new depths this week. And, while wer'e at it, how about a shout out to Mr. Clean's attractively packaged poison, The Magic Eraser.

"Check out the Majesty"
-Strong Bad

If only she knew.

These have to be some of my favorite pictures ever. Kyanne spends most days pretending to be someone else, usually Princess Snow White, Giselle or her friend Lexi. But, she's never too interested in just being Kyanne. If only she knew 'Kyanne' is a princess too.

I'm surprised day after day by her tenderness and concern for others. She's such a grateful child thankful for the simplest things: dinner, dishes, puffy sleeves, clean 'Butterfly Jammies', reading a book, holding her hand. She's kind to her brother, even when her friends aren't, and she humbles me daily as she happily forgets and forgives my Motherly short comings. Aside from all this most days she has me in stitches with comments like: "Your pretty mom (pause), I like your bum." or "Look mom, I'm wearing my gardens to preschool (referencing the slip under her clothes)", or "When I'm the Mommy and your the kid...".

She's a slice of Heaven, I'm so lucky.


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Now playing: The Monkees - I'm a believer
via FoxyTunes